Posted by Anonymous on 2017/10/15 under Life sometimes the people that love us and people that we love we don't see what we do to each other for the sake of what we look like and how we must act. we don't realize it, we are actually figthing our egos, and what do you do? do you pass it just like one of the other quirks or do you speak up? when does it become trouble?
why am i so sensitive to these little things, the little details somehow my heart cannot ignore. am i making a mistake for the sake of loyalty?will i regret my decision five years from now.
i feel like there is a part of me that says, hush, it’s just not a big deal. but is it? whaabout how ifeel?
sorry i am just venting, not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or cause commotion. i know there are bigger things we must focus on but. these little things add up too you know? we have to be truly honest with ourselves. and make the right choices for all involved. i will use a very stupid analogy. i was at the store last week trying on new dresses. i saw one with perfect and i mean perfect fabric color everything. tho it didn’t fit me right. it was a little too snug. i could have taken it home, it was the only one left on the rack. maybe i could lose a few pounds right? then i said no, there’s a lovely lady out there who will fit like a glove to this, and put it back with that intention.
yes, attributing dresses to a human life is key to me. i am that sensitive and i don’t care if anyone judges me on this. i think too much too, but mine is for the benefit of all. i want everyone to ultimately be happy and making this decision is a very big responsibility on my part.
and i dont say this because idont care about you but i care about my heart and people don’t care about the heart when things go wrong, i have to be there for myself at the end of the day, i have to make sure that it’s not beating too much or spending its beats on frivolous fights, i’ve been there, fighting over stipid s***, me and my ex, until finally the vicious cycle ended, some loyalty needs not be mended. how can you tell?
in the last three years or so, something very profound and painful happened in my life. i am not my age. i am not the person most would think i am. and that’s fine. i have accepted that. there are few things i cannot do.
nobody know how things make me feel, life is already with its burden and challenges, the least we can do is make it difficult for each other, and i make choices, maybe for the best for all.
it’s nobody fault really, just differences pile up and people think differently. do we attach to apparences? do we just say i wanna be with this guy his name is this, he looks like this, he acts like that, and i want all that. and the problems? well who cares about the problems.. iwant that.. and i also want my way, maybe i can’t give up my values, thats fine, but the guy wants to leave now, because he thinks we are no match, but i want him, but i can’t change myself, he has to change for this to work. no i won’t let him go and dare if he likes another, i will make him feel guilty to the core. for leaving me like that.
nobody knows how i feel. nobody knows what i want. when what i want is sin, it’s wrong in everyone’s eyes. when my genuine thoughst are tarnished with all the lies and deceit and i am still trying to do the right thing, the art of letting go, the sense of being responsible only to meet a brik wall.
am i being honest with myself when i am try ng to please the masses?
then you get your city idiot trolling at every chance he gets because he’s a sorry motherf***er who just want to get any chance at trying kick you while you’re down. it’s like you can’t even unsee it. what discord? motherf***er. this aint no discord, this aint your private call center either. get off my d*** bro.
this is it. we talk about peace love and unity, we talk about one love but its’ bulls*** when the people i once knew can only be this little. and everyone else is just busy battling their egos. . . . . . . . .. relationships fall and you’re driving on the road, teh car breaks in front of you and then goes slow enough and passes just when the lights turn orange. we are f***ed bunch. people don’t know any better, how are we gonna get better if we keep at this???
no, don’t tell me i am too sensitive when i kept all my hurts to myself before and nothing’s changed. so maybe, this. is. change.
so no, f*** off with that hate and negativity, i will write you off that easy.
they think it aint not seen aint not heard it aint not be but aint beg to differ.